While driving past a cemetery the dad asked "How many people are dead out there?" The son/daughter said,
"I don't know, maybe 200-300?" The dad said., "All of them."

    mulegolf While driving past a cemetery

    Do you know why there's a fence around it?
    People are dying to get in there.

      Why are dogs terrible dancers?

      Because they have two left feet

      Beginning to understand why I'm single

      Would you mind checking my scorecard for me? It seems like I am missing a number – yours.

      My son told me a girl at his school named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on.

      I respond, "stop being picked on" is arguably a worse name.

      My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated.

      I told her it’s because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

      What do you call two guys hanging from your window?

      Curt and Rod.

      If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him ...

      Is he still wrong?

      A man told the cops about a hole in a fence surrounding a nudist colony. They told him they would be happy to look into it.

      It's a 15 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
      The difference is staggering.

      The doctor said I'm paranoid.
      Didn't come right out and say that, but I know that's what he was thinking.

      My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”