mulegolf While driving past a cemetery the dad asked "How many people are dead out there?" The son/daughter said, "I don't know, maybe 200-300?" The dad said., "All of them."
Spuzz mulegolf While driving past a cemetery Do you know why there's a fence around it? People are dying to get in there.
Spuzz While driving over a railroad crossing... I know a train just went by? How? It left it's tracks.
Bravopilot Beginning to understand why I'm single Would you mind checking my scorecard for me? It seems like I am missing a number – yours.
azgreg My son told me a girl at his school named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on. I respond, "stop being picked on" is arguably a worse name.
azgreg My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated. I told her it’s because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
PA-PLAYA A man told the cops about a hole in a fence surrounding a nudist colony. They told him they would be happy to look into it.
Par4QC It's a 15 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.
Par4QC The doctor said I'm paranoid. Didn't come right out and say that, but I know that's what he was thinking.
Bravopilot My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”