For you Geezers out there
What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!
Dad Jokes
Oldie:
I went to the zoo and all they had was one small dog. It was a shih-tzu
I stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
I paid my $2 and he said…
Once upon a time there was this lobster…
My new sweater was so clingy with the static electricity, I had to return it.
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
The "H" in Jesus H Christ stands for Hoobastank.
Because Jesus died for a reason... and the reason is you!
No invention of the last 100 years is as remarkable as the dry-erase board.
While driving past a cemetery the dad asked "How many people are dead out there?" The son/daughter said,
"I don't know, maybe 200-300?" The dad said., "All of them."
Just got an email about reading maps backwards.
I think it's SPAM.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When you slice it.
While driving over a railroad crossing...
I know a train just went by?
How?
It left it's tracks.
Why are dogs terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet
Why was the tomato so red?
It saw the salad dressing
Why was the basketball court all wet?
The players kept dribbling on it
Beginning to understand why I'm single
Would you mind checking my scorecard for me? It seems like I am missing a number – yours.
What's blue and not very heavy?
Light blue.
My son told me a girl at his school named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on.
I respond, "stop being picked on" is arguably a worse name.
My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated.
I told her it’s because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
What do you call two guys hanging from your window?
Curt and Rod.