azgreg My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated. I told her it’s because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
PA-PLAYA A man told the cops about a hole in a fence surrounding a nudist colony. They told him they would be happy to look into it.
Par4QC It's a 15 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.
Par4QC The doctor said I'm paranoid. Didn't come right out and say that, but I know that's what he was thinking.
Bravopilot My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”
Par4QC It doesn't matter if one is short or tall.....thin or fat.....rich or poor. At the end of the day, it's night.
Rickochet Old bull and young bull were on a hillside grazing. Young bull says, "How about we run down to the pasture and screw us a couple of cows?" Old bull slowly raises his head and replies, "How about we walk down and screw 'em all."
mulegolf Rickochet Old bull and young bull were on a hillside grazing. Young bull says, "How about we run down to the pasture and screw us a couple of cows?" Old bull slowly raises his head and replies, "How about we walk down and screw 'em all." an oldie but a goodie.
Rickochet The difference between a pizza maker and a gynecologist is that both can smell it but only one can eat it.
customgolfcenter How can you tell the difference between a regular joke and a dad joke? It's very apparent.
rsvman2 My wife called me at the bar and said if I wasn't home in ten minutes she was going to feed the dinner she cooked for me to the dog. I was home in five minutes. I love that dog too much to let that happen to him.
rsvman2 My wife told me she wants a divorce because i'm not 'American enough' for her. I could see that coming from 8 kilometers.
toraider A bear and rabbit were taking a dump in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit if he has a problem with s#it sticking to his fur. The rabbit replies "NO", not at all. So the bear wiped his a$$ with the rabbit...