[deleted] A woman on a bicycle was riding by me and I yelled "COW" at her. She turned and gave me the finger. She then plowed right into a cow. I tried.
fatshot A lot of men say that their wives complain that they "never listen to them"....... I'm proud to say that I've never heard my wife say that....!!! 😎
PA-PLAYA My wife and I were making out on the sofa last night and I asked her, “Want to take this upstairs?” She said, “Sure. You grab that end and I’ll grab this one.”
PA-PLAYA I just bought a new chair lift for my stairs. These damned instructions are gonna drive me up the wall!
sdandrea1 Par4QC When I was younger, I used to build sand castles with my Dad. Then mom took the ashes away. I feel kinda bad laughing my ass off at this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
PA-PLAYA I asked my friend living in North Korea what it's like living there. He said he couldn't complain.
azgreg OK, so naked running. Apparently this is running without GPS, music, or any other tech. I wish I knew this an hour ago.
fatshot Having too much sex can cause memory loss…..I read that in the New England Medical Journal, page 37, August 15, 2019 at 3:15 pm……
PA-PLAYA I asked my wife if I was the only one she ever slept with. She replied, “No, they were mostly 8’s and 9’s.”
PA-PLAYA I read a recent study stating that most car accidents happen within 1/2 mile of home. So I decided to move.
PA-PLAYA My wife doesn't know this, but for her birthday I got her an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping. She's in for a rude awakening.
PA-PLAYA My wife is leaving me because I keep forgetting to take the old coffee filter out of the machine… She claims it’s grounds for divorce.
azgreg The police found a stolen car with an incomplete set of golf clubs. They're still looking for the driver.
PA-PLAYA The wheels were stolen from several cop cars parked just outside city hall. The police said they are working tirelessly to find and apprehend the suspects.
PA-PLAYA I had a friend who once lived in a house with 5-foot ceilings. I don't know how he did it all those years. I couldn't stand being in a place like that. PS: it would definitely be a short stay.
