professor
My lawyer will be contacting you shortly. Be advised that he talks very fast and has never happened upon a motorized vehicle accident in which he's never had a video camera at his disposal.
As for my identity... Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes. I wasn't comfortable revealing my true identity because quite frankly some people can't handle the truth.
Son, we post in a virtual golf world with an internal out-of-bounds, and those internal out-of-boundaries need to be protected by reasonable men with a certain level of, ahem, shall we say, proficient golf acumen. Men who don't pound their chests after launching a golf ball 300 yards some 100 yards off line or boast about breaking 50 in their Thursday afternoon 9-hole beer leagues. But men who nevertheless enjoy the anonymity of being an accomplished player without advertising how much better they are with a club in their hands than everybody else who posts here. Whose gonna do it? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your golf game, and yet you curse the thought of practice. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. And what I know is that me posting here, while tragically boring to a few who couldn't get on-plane even with a legal current passport and TSA clearance, has probably saved your golf life. And that my level of proficiency and skill, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, has probably saved the golf lives of others. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at 19th holes and public muni parking lots, you don't want me on that wall, you don't need to see my name on that wall of champions in the foyer when you enter. We use phrases like, "you're still away, yes that's the green for the hole we're playing, don't worry how far it is until you hit it three more times." We use these phrases as the backbone of a life spent coaching and teaching and defending the sanctity of the game. You use them as a punchline of a joke that you don't understand is about you. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who slices and 3-putts under the blanket of the very expertise that I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a golf club and get a lesson, or at the very least hit more than a dozen practice balls twice per season. Either way, I don't give a damn about what scores you think you're entitled to.