Spartan
I'd be less inclined to rant if I didn't have to wait 10 minutes.
I'm lobbying for a cage in the self-checkout area. The store employee designated in that area should be caged in and not allowed to leave, except for a 10 minute break per hour... upon which another store employee has to assume the cage (with the keycard thingie). Store customers who shop there frequently and have shopper's cards can simply scan the front of the cage, the door automatically opens, the customer gains access.
Then the stupid customer who brings 60 items into the express self-checkout area - it becomes a WWF Battle Royal Steel Cage match. Doors locked, everyone for themselves, including the store employee. lol
The last one standing gets his/her grocery items for free. If the store employee wins - he gets a week off with pay.
I'd show up just to see that shit, especially around rush hour.