I think you would enjoy being on a stage in Paris, having dildos shoved up your ass in front of hundreds of people.
Who needs the internet when you have so much going for you with those dildos, in Paris no less... In fact, you could go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, shove a gigantic dildo in your ass and jump! Think of how awesome that could be, especially if you rotated well enough mid-jump, like a double-pike, triple-twist tuck, and time it perfectly and land on your ass?!!!!